Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
