I want to have your abortion
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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