She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
