talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
