soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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