I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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