Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
