God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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