and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
