According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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