HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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