Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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