By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
