could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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