i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
