i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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