is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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