So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
