She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Where is the hickey?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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