My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
