I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
