Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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