don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
