Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this will be a night to untag.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
