Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
