I'm jealous of your bromance
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
