Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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