garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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