i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
