Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
