it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
