dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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