the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
