I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have feelings that need drinking.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
