ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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