so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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