is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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