i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
