I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
