it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
