Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
