We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
