You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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