Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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