Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize