Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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