For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
