ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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