So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
