I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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