tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize