Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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