bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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