i may or may not be watching the land before time
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
