he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
