just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize