You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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