Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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