i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
