How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
